Don't Toy With Me
by Hikari Kaitou
Summary: Tomoyo introduces Kurogane to the wonderful world of virtual pets by giving him a special version customized just for him: a Fainyanko.


**A/N: **Do any of you guys remember "Nano-pets" or "Giga-pets"? Remember how fabulous they were? I was digging through my junk drawer yesterday and I found the one that I had back when they were popular (when was that? Like 8 years ago?). It brought back such fabulous memories that I was inspired to write this. Ah, Giga-pets; they were so amazing. Why did they ever go out of style?

Oh, by the way, I messed with the amount of time they spent in Lecourt. Just so you know…

* * *

**Don't Toy With Me**

Kurogane leaned back against the cold surface of the princess's winning dragonfly vehicle, a bottle of liquor in hand, and listened silently to the sounds of the raucous celebration going on inside the house. He preferred experiencing the party from out here since he didn't really like crowds. The ninja took a drink of his liquor. It wasn't as good as the stuff he and Fai had had back in Sharano but it was pretty decent. He lowered his bottle and glanced over his shoulder toward the house when the sound of approaching footsteps reached his ears. It was Tomoyo, coming to join him. She sat down on the large tool chest at his feet.

"Does it hurt?" she asked quietly.

"Huh?"

"Your left hand."

He averted his gaze to the starry sky above. "…It's nothing," he mumbled.

Tomoyo didn't seem convinced but she didn't press the matter. When Kurogane next looked down at her, she was reaching into the pocket of her dress.

"I have something for you," she said, dropping a small, round, plastic object into his hand.

He held it up to the light and examined it curiously. It had a screen and a few buttons and was roughly the size of an egg.

"What is this thing?" he asked finally.

"A prototype of a new toy that my company will be releasing soon," Tomoyo replied.

Kurogane narrowed his eyes skeptically. "A toy? What would I want a toy for?"

"I thought you might say that," she admitted, giggling. "But I customized it just for you so I think you might find it…entertaining."

"Oh," he said. "How does it work?"

"Just pull out that little paper tab right there and it should start itself up." There was something about Tomoyo's eager smile that made Kurogane suspicious but he heeded her instructions. As soon as he removed the tab, a picture formed on the little screen. Kurogane stared at it, having to squint slightly to make out the picture in the dark. It took him a moment to figure out what he was looking at but when it finally clicked, his brain froze. Words began to appear on the screen, replacing the picture.

"Hello, it's nice to meet you! I'm Fai-nyanko! You'll be taking care of me from now on so do your best, ok, Kurowanwan?"

Tomoyo laughed and clapped her hands joyfully at the ninja's stunned reaction. "Do you like it? It's your own virtual Fai san that you can carry around in your pocket, hold in your hand and play with whenever you want! You can be as sweet as you want to him and he won't even pick on you like the real Fai san does!"

Kurogane was silent as he watched the virtual Fai kitty (which was basically just like regular Fai, only with cat ears, a tail and whiskers) push a ball of yarn across the screen with his nose. There were several smaller pictures across the top of the screen: a plate and a fork, a bat and a ball, a bed, a shower head, a broom, a medic symbol and a question mark.

"If it meows, it means he wants something," Tomoyo explained, standing up so that she could look at the screen too. "You can find out what he needs by going to the question mark. Select this to feed him, this to play a game with him, this to put him to bed, this to give him a bath, this to clean up after him, and this to take him to the doctor. Make sure to give him plenty of attention or else he'll run away and you'll have to start the game over. The better job you do of taking care of him, the more he'll like you. Isn't it adorable?"

"Hmph," Kurogane grunted noncommittally, trying to seem disinterested. His act was spoiled when Digi-Fai meowed and he immediately began pushing buttons, trying to find out what Fai-nyanko wanted.

Tomoyo giggled again in that infuriating manner of hers. "I'll just leave you two alone then, shall I?"

Kurogane was so absorbed in his new toy that he didn't even seem to hear her. Still grinning widely, Tomoyo turned and went back inside. When she entered the house, she spotted Fai across the room, talking to Shougo and Primela. She wove her way through the crowd, making her way towards him.

"Excuse me, Fai san!" she called, waving to get his attention.

Fai looked around for the person who had called his name and seemed surprised to find Tomoyo at his side.

"Oh, hello Tomoyo chan!" he said brightly. "This is a great party!"

"Why, thank you! Actually, the reason I came over here is to give you some information I think you might be interested in," she said mysteriously, her violet eyes sparkling with amusement.

"Hmm? And what might that be?" Fai asked, leaning a bit closer to make sure he heard.

"Press and hold Mode, Start and Select," she said.

Fai blinked, nonplussed. "'Press and hold Mode, Start and Select'…?" he repeated slowly. "I'm afraid I don't understand what you mean, Tomoyo chan."

"Don't worry; it will all make sense eventually," she grinned.

"Oh…ok…Well, er…Thank you for the tip, Tomoyo chan," Fai said, returning the smile.

As soon as Tomoyo had moved on, Fai rubbed his chin, wondering what in the world that cryptic message was all about. "Tomoyo chan is a little bit strange sometimes, isn't she?"

* * *

Kurogane dropped onto his bed, worn out and annoyed by all the morons who had gotten themselves drunk at the party. Fai, to no surprise of Kurogane's whatsoever, was right there in the thick of things, flirting and slurring his speech with the best of them. Kurogane was highly suspicious, though. Fai may have been acting drunk but he'd seemed far too lucid for it to be real, especially when he had tried to follow Kurogane into his room to go to bed. Stupid wizard. Every so often, there was a halfhearted thud as Fai tried to open the door but was blocked by the dresser Kurogane had pushed in front of it. The ninja sighed and shook his head in exasperation.

Digi-Fai, however, was behaving flawlessly. Kurogane had noticed the pixilated kitty rubbing its eyes tiredly once he had safely shut himself off from the real Fai and had put it to bed. It was curled up in a basket on the screen, its body rising and falling gently in simulated breathing. Kurogane watched it, wondering how long it would sleep. He kind of wanted to play with it some more. To keep himself occupied, he pushed the directional arrows until his selector was on the question mark, deciding that he might as well check his stats. Fullness: 10/10, entertainment: 10/10, cleanliness: 6/10 (_damn_, Kurogane thought. He'd have to work on that), health: 10/10, affection: 10/10.

Kurogane smirked to himself as he exited out of the stats area to the main screen where Digi-Fai was still fast asleep. In the morning, he would give Fai-nyanko a bath and then his stats would be perfect. He knew that this thing was only a toy but it gave him a strange sense of satisfaction to see that he was doing so well with it. Kurogane went back to watching Digi-Fai sleep. Any time it wanted to wake up would be fine with him… Yep; any time now…No, really. He wouldn't even get mad if it woke up right this second…

Kurogane watched Fai-nyanko attentively for half an hour before he got bored and figured that it probably wouldn't wake up again until the next morning. Feeling just a little bit disappointed, the swordsman laid his toy on the bedside table and turned off the light.

* * *

It was either very late or very early when Kurogane next awoke. He had always been a light sleeper so when a small meowing noise reached his ears, his eyes had snapped open almost immediately. He ran a hand backwards through his hair as he sat up and looked around dazedly for the source of the noise. It took him a moment to remember the wonderful new toy Tomoyo had given him earlier that night but when it finally came back to him, he hurriedly snatched it off the bedside table and held it up to the moonlight so that he could look at it. There was a message on the screen: Fai-nyanko was awoken by a nightmare and is scared! What will you do? A: hold him and give him kisses until he falls asleep, B: let him sleep with the lights on, C: nothing. Kurogane considered his options…

* * *

Fai opened his eyes slowly and looked around. He was in his room, sprawled on the bed and all was dark and quiet. Everything seemed to be in order. Fai frowned slightly; how strange… he had just experienced a wave of comforting warmth, as though someone he loved very much had scooped him up and given him a hug. But there was no one in his room except for him. The feeling didn't go away, though. He closed his eyes blissfully. Even if he couldn't explain where it was coming from, it still felt very nice. Fai's eyes snapped open again when he felt fingers stroking his hair and someone's lips pressing softly against his cheek. Still, there was no one else there. He found that he didn't mind it; he didn't sense any malice at all in the sensation. All he felt was a strong, pure love.

* * *

Kurogane was the first one up the next morning, which was no surprise since pretty much everyone else was completely wasted. The first thing he did was tend to his new pet. Digi-Fai was already awake. He seemed to sense that Kurogane was watching him because he suddenly meowed. Kurogane noticed that Fai-nyanko had left him two little presents in the corner of the screen. With much indignant huffing and puffing, Kurogane selected the broom and looked on as the mess was swept away. Hearts danced above Digi-Fai's head.

The next thing the warrior selected was the shower head. He watched closely as Fai-nyanko scampered across the screen and took a running jump into a bubble bath. Kurogane, once again, felt just a little bit disappointed, though he wasn't sure why, exactly. Well, whatever; he was going to get some breakfast. Kurogane climbed out of bed and pushed the dresser back into its usual place so that he could venture out into the war-zone that was the room beyond.

* * *

Fai was awoken rather unpleasantly with the sensation that someone had just poured a bucket of water over him. True, it was warm water, but he didn't really appreciate being woken up that way. To his extreme bewilderment, when he looked down at himself, he was perfectly dry. Wow…_that_ was weird. Wondering if perhaps he was loosing his mind, Fai made his way to the kitchen for breakfast.

* * *

"Good morning, Kuropin!" Fai said cheerfully when he walked into the kitchen and found Kurogane already there, drinking a cup of coffee and eating toast.

"Hmph," he grunted in response. Kurogane noticed a little too late that his new toy was still sitting on the table in front of him. If Fai got his hands on it and found out what it was, he would never let the ninja live it down. Kurogane swept it off the table and into his lap, hoping that Fai wouldn't notice. Unfortunately for him, it was a little too late for that.

"Hmm? What was that, Kurotan?" Fai asked, coming up behind Kurogane to peek over his shoulder.

Kurogane stuffed it into his pocket. "Nothing that has to do with you," he growled.

"It looked like a toy," the magician said interestedly. "Do you have a new toy, Kuromun?"

"What the hell would I want with a damn toy?"

At that moment, Tomoyo and Sakura entered the room.

"Good morning, Kurogane san, Fai san!" the girls said.

"Good morning, Sakura chan, Tomoyo chan," Fai replied. "You came just at the right time!"

"Eh? Right time for what?" Sakura asked.

"Kuropiko has a new toy and he won't share!" he pouted. "I just want to look at it!"

Tomoyo giggled while Sakura just looked on, clueless. Much to Kurogane's relief, Tomoyo distracted the other two by offering them some orange juice, thereby letting him off the hook.

* * *

It got increasingly difficult for Kurogane to hide his toy from Fai as time went on, though. He did his best to only play with it when he was alone but Fai always seemed to walk in on him and catch him just as he was hiding it away. The most awkward situation was when he and Fai were getting on the elevator at their hotel in Lecourt along with two strangers. Each party had pushed the button of their desired destination and the elevator began to climb, its four passengers riding in silence. Or at least, they _had_ been riding in silence, until Kurogane's pocket suddenly meowed. Everyone had turned to look at him in surprise. Kurogane had just cleared his throat loudly and pretended not to notice.

When they got to their room, the ninja had quickly excused himself to the bathroom where he was finally able to give Digi-Fai the attention it was demanding in peace. He had been a bit irritated when he found that the reason that Fai-nyanko had meowed at such an inopportune time in the elevator was that he was bored and wanted to play. Truth be told though, Kurogane didn't completely hate playing games with Fai-nyanko. He played game after game with it until the pixilated kitty was all worn out and begging him to let it take a little catnap. Once he had put Digi-Fai to bed in its basket, he finally immerged from the bathroom. To his surprise, he found the real Fai curled up on one of the beds, sleeping just as peacefully.

* * *

Kurogane had owned Fai-nyanko for about two weeks when he made his fatal error; he left his toy on the table while he went to take a shower. Fai was ironing his shirt in the other room when he heard the meowing. His attention captivated, Fai went to search out the source of the noise. It didn't take him long to find Fai-nyanko lying on the table. He picked it up curiously and examined it from all angles. It was amazing! Fai had never seen anything like it. Not until he was about to test out one of the buttons did he notice the strange likeness between himself and the Digi-Fai. Before he could process this new information, a message began to appear on the screen: Fai-nyanko wants some extra attention! What will you do? A: Scratch him behind the ears, B: give him catnip, C: nothing.

Fai hesitantly selected option A and froze as he suddenly had the sensation of someone massaging his scalp. He keeled over on the bed, paralyzed with pure ecstasy. Just like the other strange feelings he had been getting out of the blue recently, this one was given by some unseen source but it felt so good that he didn't care. The blond let out a small noise of disappointment when it finally stopped. Just then, a piece of advice he had heard a little while back floated across his memory: "press and hold mode, start and select". Curiously, he heeded the advice. Another message appeared on the screen: Add new programming? A grin spread slowly across his face as several ideas came to him suddenly. Fai eagerly selected "yes"…

* * *

Kurogane entered his room, still drying his hair with a towel and started when he noticed Fai-nyanko sitting out on the table, meowing insistently. Annoyed with himself for leaving the toy out in the open so carelessly, Kurogane went to tend to it. He checked the stats; fullness: 3/10, entertainment: 2/10, cleanliness: 10/10, health: 10/10, affection: 1000/10 Fai-nyanko LOVES you! Kurogane blinked. What the hell? He had never seen it say that before… Still frowning thoughtfully, Kurogane selected the feeding option. Things were out of the ordinary here, too. Usually, his options consisted of milk or fish. Now, both of those things were gone and had been replaced with a doughnut and sake. Talk about weird. Kurogane chose the doughnut.

Now that Digi-Fai had been fed, Kurogane began to move his selector over to the game option but stopped when a message began to appear on the screen: Fai-nyanko is in heat! What will you do? A: rub his belly, B: give him lots of kisses, C: something naughty. Kurogane considered his options…

* * *

**A/N:** And I leaves you in suspense! HA! The bit about the elevator was inspired by something that happened to me last Christmas. We were going to my grandma's house for the whole two weeks of break and we didn't want to leave our kitty behind all by itself so we decided to bring her with us. It's a really long drive to my grandma's house (like 10 hours) and we spent a night in a hotel. Of course, we couldn't leave kitty in the car overnight in the dead of winter and the hotel didn't allow pets, so we did what any sane person would… we put the cat in my younger brother's big puffy winter coat and had him zip it up and cross his arms so that no one would notice when we brought her in. So our whole family of six got onto the elevator with two strangers and started riding upwards in silence. It was pretty awkward when the cat (who had somehow crawled into my brother's sleeve) started to complain about being zipped up in the coat. My parents' reaction was much like Kurogane's but I think my brothers and sister and I might have ruined their little innocent act with our snorts of poorly suppressed laughter. Anyway, that's my story. 


End file.
